Finding The Lost Seven and Half Years...

I am not sure how to put the last seven and a half years into words. Some where along the way I lost myself and I lost the road map to the life I had planned with Tad and our children So much grief and sadness in the last 7 and half years, yet somehow some of the happiest days of my life happened in those few years since the last blog post I wrote here on August 15, 2015. 

I started this blog so many years ago... I wanted to remember the recipes that created the memories of our life... our life that has now become known as #SurvivingtheStuarts. Recipes of love, laughter, and dang good food! The ingredients of my children's lives that they could one day read through these posts and smile remembering the time when... The things tradition would be made of and all things comforting to look back to on a rainy day, especially when they needed Momma's tomato soup cake or homemade Mac and cheese. 

I want to say that life happens and I got busy and just never got back to this space to put words and pictures to the recipes but really, there is no reason I haven't updated this blog. At one point I started a second blog that I vowed would be a better version of this one and while it contained the things I needed it to contain, it never quite felt like home as much as this space feels to me. Maybe because that second blog focused a lot on the days when my mental health was lacking sunshine and grace and this space is all the things I loved in my life. Whatever the reasons, I am sad that I have lost seven and half years of all the things I would have loved to share. Facebook and Instagram are absolutely great at keeping memories alive... if you can get to them through all the advertisements, political garbage, and time stealing reels, but they are mere synopsis of the chapters of my life. Captions without context. Then again, maybe that is what life needed to be for me for the last seven years... captions without context or background, because some things you can't put words to, or maybe I just wasn't ready to. 

Seven and half years... Tad and I are still married. Our kids all grew up... well, legally became adults anyway! We have grandkids... sometimes that concept still seems so surreal to me, but here we are living life as Nana and Papa! We built a house, a journey that was filled with so much hope, sadness, faith, and huge miracles along the way. And the adventures... SO MANY adventures. There is a lot of stories in these seven and half years. In my heart I know it is time to share the stories, maybe not in chronological order but on a timeline my heart feels ready to let the words of each story shine in the sun and live forever here in this space. 

I am not sure what made me read through this blog today. Maybe because I know big changes are coming soon for us or maybe because I have talked to an old friend a few times in the last two weeks and I was reminiscent on the simpler days of life. Whatever the reason, I am thankful I did... I miss the days in our 690 East house probably more that I will ever miss anything in my life but I also know in my heart that it is time for me to truly start living my life somewhere in the sun. 

When One Door Closes...

Here it is... the Summer of '15 is officially over. The 2015-16 school year has just begun. And I should be jumping for joy or elbow deep in soap and bleach as I clean my house and get a rid of all the summer mess and germs still lingering. But instead I am sitting here in silence wondering what now? This week is not just the start of a new school year... it is so much more. It's a start to a new way of life for my household. It is a start to a new normal. 

We have started an uncharted territory of parenthood with an adult child, new football program, Tad has a new job, Mikayla is learning to drive, Mikayla is now working in the real world. Everything will be different from now on. 

I suppose I could try to be positive about this and approach it with "When Door Closes, Another One Opens!" attitude. And for the most part it is true. There are benefits to the changes we are going through as a family on a whole. Life has a way of changing everyday and pushing forward despite the change of course. 

It's going to be a great school year! A good year for all of us. Happy School Days my friends! 

Boundaries...

The only thing I love as much as being a Cheer mom is being a Football mom. But I have to admit, I have a love/hate relationship with youth football. It tends to bring out the momma bear in me. 

My player is my baby.... And my tiny baby at that. So, yes it does occur to me at every camp, practice, and game that football is aggressive and there is a chance he could get hurt. Especially since 99% of the players are taller and weigh at least twice as much as he does. It has also become apparent to me these last two years of pre-season he is at a disadvantage... He is so small he is often overlooked and sometimes coaches are skeptical of his playing abilities. This means my guy has to work harder than the other players to prove himself. A challenge that leaves me standing on the side lines telling coaches "He loves Football!" and "I do know he is small for his age but he hits hard." or the pleading "He doesn't want to be your quarterback... Or even your star running back. He just wants to get out there and hit. He LOVES tackle." (Insert the usual eye roll from the coach or the polite smile that leaves you feeling insulted because you know it was forced!) And then I get defensive and disgruntled with the league. But we come back day after day because my kid is unstoppable. He doesn't care what they think. He gives the game his heart and soul. 

About four days into it multiple people come up to me in and compliment my son's drive and his aggressive force that doesn't match his size. And then I sigh and I can breathe again because Inknow he isn't going to be overlooked anymore. 

This year is no different for him... He doesn't care, he gets out there and does his thing. He is confident and persistent. But it is different for me... I held off on my sideline speeches until I was approached to "Z" him down to a younger group more his size. (This was day 1 of pre-season practices) I gave my speech once and I let it go. I politely declined the suggestion to move him to the younger team. They doubted him... But I didn't. This year I didn't let my faith waiver. I knew he had it in him to show everyone he could handle his own. And he went above and beyond anyone's expectations. 

I sat on the sidelines and observed but didn't try to persuade anyone into believing in him. I didn't try to fight this battle for him. I set boundaries letting him find his own way. 

And here I sit in the car setting a new boundary. A BIG boundary.... In all the years of flag football, baseball and tackle football I have never left him alone on the field. Not for practice and not for a game. Not in the skin melting heat, the bone chilling snow, wind, and rain. Tonight I parked the car, helped him with his pads and sent him to the field. I stayed behind.  I am sure it is much harder on me sitting here worrying and wondering about my baby than it is for him to be practicing without me on the sideline. But the reality is we need this. He needs to know that Indont have to be right there to be here for him. I need this. I have to learn to loosen my Momma Bear grip and let him grow up. I have to be able to drop him off and drive away and know that we are both going to be fine. Seems like a natural progression of parenthood. And I am sure it is. But when Momma Bear has separation anxiety it complicates things a tad bit.... 

We all live with boundaries and even the ones we don't like they are there for a reason. This year of football is huge for me. I am not ready to let go of my baby. I am not ready for him to become an adolescent. Sadly, enough these things won't happen on my time line. And I need to learn to respect the boundaries of Momma Bear's baby cub growing up.... 

The Week We Went Unplanned

So... Another week has come to an end and Tad is off to Texas for more life saving flying. This past week started off with a lot of uncertainty for me. Our plans changed so many times I finally had to throw up my white flag and give into a life of 5 days and no plan. 

Tad wanted to go camping but I really just wanted to be home with no where to go and no where to be. Imagine that.... The Stuart's not busy!!! Can't see it happening? Well... Don't feel bad. I can't either and guess what!?!?! It didn't happen! We were here, we were there... We were everywhere. Doctors appointments, eye exams, grocery shopping, BBQing, movie parties at our house, roasting marshmallows, job interviews, football practice, school shopping, Lagoon.... It never stopped. 

And really, I loved every minute of the unplanned go-go-go! 

One of our favorite parts of summer is Tad grilling steak for us. And lately we have lived spending time with the neighbors.... Making up for lost time since we moved to Tennessee for sure! But it's even better when you add in a late night Star Wars adventure in the back yard. This projector was an investment we will enjoy for years to come! 

I have named this the summer of the Marshmellow. With all of our neighborhood friends having fire pits now it's a Marshmellow roast every night! This was the second time we have done it in our yard this year. I love the quiet time by the fire with the family... Even Joey hung out with us. I may even get brave enough to do it by myself with the kids one night! 

And what is a week without a little adventure or life changing decision? Sunday we hit Lagoon with the boys for some play time... 

And then there was this..... 

What skies will Daddy be soaring through this fall? Will it be Texas, Michigan, or North Dakota? 

That will be another story for another time... But until then, remember busy doesn't define quality. Only you can define the quality of the days you spend with the people you love.... 

The Ensenada Experience

Seems like it has been forever since Tad and I took our first cruise in 2008. I remember saying to him as we were coming off the ship how much fun the kids would have and how one day I would love to do a family cruise. Seven years later (almost exactly!) we set sail with the kids. It was an item I am grateful we knocked off our bucket list and something we will do again in the future. 

Before I get into the ins and outs of our family vacation and the lessons we learned along the way, I want to say something. Something I think needs to be said and given some serious thought to... Every cruise or even family vacation is a unique one. No two experiences will be the same. It is what you make of it. And that being said... I was determined to make the most out of our family vacation. Our children are getting older and as sad as this makes me to say, I know in my heart these family vacations of just the six of us are slowly going to come to an end as they all begin to fly the coop taking on their own life journeys and tackling their own bucket lists. So this post maybe a little lengthy... but every memory carries a mile in my heart and those moments are all little pieces of my family I love to share. I hope you enjoy the stories and I hope you can take a little piece of something from our experience to enhance yours... whatever it may be! 

Planning the Vacation

This was not a planned months in advance trip by any means. We had plans to do something with the kids this summer. Tad and I felt we were in desperate need of some much needed family time. We loved Disneyland with the kids, we loved renting a beach house on the ocean, we loved exploring the south west. But we kept going back to the idea of how much we really wanted to cruise with the kids. So after watching the prices fall on the cruise site I use to book our cruises I finally decided it's now or never. Let's do it. For those thinking about doing a vacation cruise and you have the luxury of waiting until the last minute, I highly recommend using www.vacationstogo.com 90 Day Ticker. We have booked through them a few times with positive experiences each time. But for this particular cruise, I booked straight through the Carnival website. There are six of us and I wanted to pick my cabins side by side. Upon booking our 4 day 3 night cruise to Ensenada, Mexico, I was offered a discount on shore excursions. I chose one I felt would best work for all of us... a city shopping tour. Ensenada doesn't have a lot of kid friendly excursions. Thankfully, we have older kids! Using the Carnival website I was able to manage our whole cruise almost. We checked in via online, we ordered water a head of time for our staterooms. I could change things as I wanted to. From there, I began to do my research... What items did I need to pack... what do I want to make this cruise easiest? Planning for six is never an easy task. 

A Few Tips For Cruising With Kids

~Pay the extra money for the FASTER TO FUN program. For $50 per cabin you get VIP boarding on the ship. We were able to get on the ship 2 hours before general boarding and we had the whole ship to ourselves to explore... We got to the lunch buffet before it was crowded and my boys were literally the first ones in the pool and hot tub. 

You will be glad you paid the extra money when you are able to enjoy the ship before the thousands of other people start roaming around. But you won't truly appreciate the FASTER TO THE FUN until you de-board the ship at the end of the cruise before everyone else and you walk right through the customs line without the hassle of waiting forever for the lines to move in the muggy terminal. Best $100 we have ever spent on a family vacation! 

~ Cruise Card Lanyards

I recommend buying these for the kids before you head out on the cruise. I debated and debated and didn't. And before the safety drill one of our kids was missing their ship key which is your life line for everything on the ship! That was a $36 stop at the gift ship I should have avoided if I had listened to my instincts as I was packing and planning! 

http://www.amazon.com/Cosmos-Vertical-Assorted-Leather-Business/dp/B00N1RII62/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1437601932&sr=8-8&keywords=id+lanyard Again... money well spent if you buy them before hand. And while you are on Amazon cruise shopping... I highly recommend these: http://www.amazon.com/Beach-Towel-Clips-Bright-Colors/dp/B00EA3NSSO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1437602062&sr=8-1&keywords=towel+clips  They come in handy at the pool to clip your towels to the lounge chairs so they don't fly away. They are also great for clipping up towels for your family members who aren't at the pool yet so you can save some spots. These I did buy before hand! 

~ On Board Credit

What they don't tell you is that your children have access to charge anything to the cabins. You need to go to guest services to block access or put a spending limit on it. Hopefully, if you plan to do a $10 a day limit (like we did) your kids will be smart enough to stop before they spend all their money in the arcade in 10 minutes. And by all... I mean all.... You can't do a daily spending limit. It is one lump sum for the whole duration of the cruise. Lesson learned for sure! 

For now that is all I have on the tips of traveling with kids... we didn't take advantage of the kid clubs because our kids are old enough to make the decision to go or hang out with family. We did have a buddy rule and no one was allowed to wander alone. And absolutely no one was allowed in any state rooms other than ours. And no one but family in our state room. You may want to decide before hand what you hope to accomplish for family time. We didn't make meals mandatory except one night I requested we all dress up and go to the dinning room together. This gave each of us the freedom to make the cruise our own. 

Traveling to Port

We drove from Utah to Long Beach, California. It is roughly a 12 hour drive. On our way there however we stopped in Las Vegas for the night. The car ride was a smooth one. I made an epic play list everyone sang along to and seemed to enjoy. And I bought Trivia Pursuit Family addition and we played trivia to help pass the time. As a whole, we love Vegas. 

This wasn't our first Vegas experience. The kids love cruising the strip, radio up, windows down, waving and yelling hello to the bystanders and taking in all the neon signs. 

We stayed at The Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino because we wanted to eat lunch at BurgR by Gordon Ramsey. 

The kids LOVED the rooms we got. They were awfully excited because this was the first time we booked two rooms and they had their own hotel room. 

Peyton took full advantage of his Vegas suite...

Once we got to Long Beach we went out exploring the coast in search of some fresh sea food. We came across the USS Iowa... What a beautiful ship and a great find for the kids! 

I did my research before we left the hotel room so as we approached each restaurant I knew what the reviews were and what the best dishes to try were. Logan and I tried the two dishes most raved about... swordfish and salmon. We were not disappointed! Trust me... I know how this is beginning to sound and you are right... we are a family that LOVES food! 

All Aboard!

FASTER TO FUN.... If you remember anything about my blog post remember that! We got on the ship early (12pm to be exact) and our rooms were already set up and waiting for us. So we changed into our swim suits, headed for the food and fun! Our first day was nothing but pool side sun! 

The experiences on the ship were unforgettable. On our Sea Day it rained but we were able to see whales splash and wave tails and dolphins play for almost an hour out in the middle of the ocean. There is something so serene about being able to watch an animal in it's natural habitat enjoy it's life! 

Amazing food! 

(Alligator Balls anyone?)

Unforgettable Dinning room Fun! 

All you can eat ice cream! 

Beautiful Sunset Scenes...

And Even After Hours Adult Time! 

But the Best Part! Towel Animals!!!!! 

But the fun doesn't stop there... there is a lot of fun to be had in port as well... 

Like being able to drink at the age of 18 legally! 

Beautiful Natural Wonders of the World... 

Cultural Experiences...

And of course the typical tourist traps you can't resist! 

In The End... 

When your long day is over you board the ship and head home. As the sun sets you have time to sit back and relax and reflect on all the laughs, the once in a life time moments, and the fun you have been blessed to experience with your family. 

Life moves faster than you think... I say this a lot. And sometimes you just have to do it now. I am truly grateful I am married to someone who shares that same view with me. There are always going to be bills to pay. There is never going to be a right time. Sometimes you just have to say screw it all and make it the right time. Those I promise you will be the best times. I will never forget this cruise with my children... Having that first beer with our oldest... listening to him talk about the girls on the ship he has met and in depth conversations about heading to college in three weeks. Our daughter walking through the flea market in Ensenada looking up at me with this huge smile on her face as she throws her hands in the air and yells, "I LOVE MEXICO! ENSENADA, YOU ARE GREAT! GIVE ME ANOTHER PINA COLADA!" And we will NEVER forget how she broke out of her shell at dinner and jumped up and danced in the middle of the dinning room with the waiters. Our Autistic child in awe over the dolphins in the ocean... the whale splashing with it's tail... all the towel animals! And our baby (our ten year old not so much of a baby anymore baby!) embracing his independence to go to the hot tub on his own, to go to the buffet and the grill and get all the food he wanted. And one of our most cherished memories we will laugh about forever will be the trip we took to Mexico when Peyton refused to eat or drink anything in Mexico because he was afraid of being poisoned! And the moments I sat with my husband as we did nothing but watch our kids laugh and smile for hours... our kids... our family. Of course this was a family vacation but we as husband and wife make this family. We keep this family alive and thriving by the love and support we give each other... And there were moments on this vacation when we had "our moments"... they may have been small gestures like traditional I love you in (what ever state line we just crossed) or singing our parts in duets on the play list, front seat dancing to a little Rob Base, Vanilla Ice, and John Mellencamp. Sneaking away to the 21 and older hot tub while the kids were off swimming or playing golf. Afternoon napping under the window in our cabin while the rain splashed the ocean and the lightening lit up the sky. We took time for each kid... breakfast with Peyton, afternoon coffee and book reading with Mikayla, shopping with Drew, and lunch with Logan. The boys played miniature golf while the girls sat in a window in a cafe on the ship with their books and lattes laughing about stupid things we do in life. The cruise may have been sold out and crowded but the experience is what you make it. We took advantage of times when we knew we would have quiet time. Early dinning, up before sunrise to claim pool spots and eat a quiet breakfast while the ship slept the morning away, hot tubbing while everyone else was at the shows, bars, and late night dinners... and sunset pictures while everyone partied with ship captain in their ties and ball gowns. We made it what we wanted... our family vacation. You don't have to do what everyone else is doing on the ship to have a good time. You need to find our own purpose for being there and your own piece of happiness. That is the point of vacation... to enjoy yourself, relax, do nothing, have fun, and eat... EAT the amazing food! Nothing makes a 12 year old boy happier than unlimited access to ice cream cones 24 hours a day! Life is short... Life is unexpected... and sometime life is just better unplanned. 

I didn't plan for my life to be where it is today. Tad and I followed parallel paths until they crossed unexpectedly and in the most coincidental way... But it was for the best... I could not have planned this any better if I had tried. The Ensenada Experience taught me that it isn't so much about where you dock as much as it is what you do to stay afloat. Ensenada wasn't as beautiful as Grand Cayman Islands nor did it have as much to offer as Cozumel... But it was perfect for us because of how much we wanted to be together and the effort we made to take in the world around us. 

Happy Travels my friends..... 

His Next Chapter...

Life has a way of passing us by before we notice what is happening. The last few weeks I have been feeling rather sad. It was hard for me to watch Logan graduate and even harder to sit with him in a coffee shop and discuss his future plans for his life. In my heart, I know nothing will change drastically. He will still call home for money and give us that boyish smile when he forgets something. There will still be the "I miss you guys too" and the "I love yous". But he is no longer the little boy or the punk teenager we would have for mandatory family time. He is now an adult and will be deciding when he wants to joining family vacations and family holidays. 
I am immensely proud of him in his struggles to get across the stage... no matter how close, down to the wire he came. School is not for everyone but he stuck it out and finished and made the choice to continue. I don't know if college is going to be his thing... But I do know that I am not worried about him going out into the world on his own. He has proved he has the potential to succeed and surpass his goals. 
Two weeks from now we will be setting sail on what will be our last mandatory family fun vacation with all four of our children together. It will be bittersweet but I believe in my heart it will be a perfect Stuart Family way to send him off to begin the chapter of his life that will begin to define the man he will become. 

Congrats, Logan (aka Bubba, Logan Bogan, Lana!) We love you... 

Great Finds....

I know... I know.... I am horrible at keeping this site up to date. It's no wonder I don't have a lot of blog traffic. I am a procrastinator lately. It kills me because I lay in bed at night writing blog posts in my head as I try to fall asleep! But after the mail call this morning I decided I really needed to sit down and share some of my exciting new finds with you. Although I am a true girl at heart and I love surprises that are sweet and shiny(.... even expensive!) Sometimes it really is the little things in life that brings out the excitement within me. 

I am a shopper... I am compulsive shopper, you could even go as far to say. The sad reality is if I could be a personal shopper, that would be the best career in the world for me. I LOVE shopping. My husband is not a big fan of my love of the consumer market. And his wallet may even dislike me at times! So I am sure you can imagine how elated I was to find I could use my iPhone (another one of my absolute favorite things in the world) to make money while shopping! While I envy the dedicated coupon clipping, price matching Mama's out there, I lack the attention span and the discipline to spend so much time to that task. Thankfully, there is an app for that! Well.... at least an app for people like me who are sometimes too busy (or too lazy) to research the constant price changes and best deals around town. I stumbled across three these apps that are legit ways to earn money back while shopping. 

Walmart Savings Catcher: 

So simple to use... Just scan the barcode at the bottom of your receipt and let the app do the rest. Within 72 hours if there is a price cheaper at a competitor store Walmart will refund you the difference. You can cash out your balance anytime for a Walmart gift card emailed to you. It's so simple... Almost too easy. I signed up in August of 2014 and by December of 2014, I had saved enough price adjustments I was able to buy Christmas gifts for my six nieces and three nephews. Gifts I didn't have to budget for and didn't come directly out of our bank account. Seriously worth the 30 second scan if you shop at Walmart as much as I do! 

Ibotta:

While you are buying your essential groceries be sure to check the Ibotta app. They offer you cash on your purchases for watching 15 second videos or taking quick surveys,scanning the product and scanning your receipt.  You have to reach a balance of $10 before they will cash you out. You get paid by Gift Card or money transferred to your account. A little more time consuming than Savings Catcher. But if you use with Savings Catcher you can earn twice as much. I have been using this app for about a month now and I have already gotten my first reward for it. I could have done better if I did it every time... But sometimes I just forget. 

ShopKicks: 

Who wants to get paid for absolutely nothing? This girl right here!!!!!! And probably most all of you who have stumbled across this blog. ShopKicks rewards you points for just walking into a store. It also awards you points for scanning items within the store as well... no obligation to buy. Just find it on a shelf, scan, and collect points. ShopKicks gives you a little more freedom of choice. You aren't tied down to a Walmart gift card. There are many reward choices... Target, Starbucks, Apple, just to name a few. I have used this app for about a week now and I have already collected enough points for gift cards. 

Use all three together and you could find yourself bringing in some extra cash every month. It may not be much but maybe enough to treat yourself to something you have been wanting but can't afford or don't want to spend money on. 

My next great find does not involve an app or shopping or even saving money. It involves saving time and potential stress. I found a personal planner I absolutely fell in love with. It was a bit pricey but worth every penny! It is customizable, simple, and inspiring! 

The Erin Condren Collection: 

Let me tell you I love this Life Planner! I designed my own cover from a template on her website. I chose my colors. The cover reminds me of everything that is important to me. It incorporates everything I love and everything that makes me who I am. That is the first step to keep me motivated to stay on task and make sure things are being done for myself as well as my family. 

Again with the customization. There are stickers you can buy to add motivational quotes to your pages. You can use Washi tape to block off a group of days for an event or a family vacation. Absolutely adorable little TV stickers to remind you when your programs are coming on. And so so much more. I chose the vertical design that spreads my week out in front of me and breaks down my days into time blocks. Morning, Afternoon, and Evening. This picture does not do the planner justice at all.... And as you can tell mine is a little bare. I just got it in the mail yesterday. 

This is a great find and exciting to me because I have ADD, OCD and Anxiety that thrive off of each other. I need organization and order in my life. I need a "go-to" where I can see the plan. And as you can see by the pens I color code everything and everyone. There is even a removable menu plan (with a shopping list on the back) I can wipe clean and transfer from week to week.

This is completely separate from the Family Household Management Binder. Which I will share with you in a another post at another time. This is personal... for me... my to-do, my goals, and even my rewards and gratitude journaling in the blocks under my Evenings. I am not going to lie, I am quite excited about this book. I am looking forward to spending time personalizing it and making the most out of it. Check it out... I promise you will love it!