My player is my baby.... And my tiny baby at that. So, yes it does occur to me at every camp, practice, and game that football is aggressive and there is a chance he could get hurt. Especially since 99% of the players are taller and weigh at least twice as much as he does. It has also become apparent to me these last two years of pre-season he is at a disadvantage... He is so small he is often overlooked and sometimes coaches are skeptical of his playing abilities. This means my guy has to work harder than the other players to prove himself. A challenge that leaves me standing on the side lines telling coaches "He loves Football!" and "I do know he is small for his age but he hits hard." or the pleading "He doesn't want to be your quarterback... Or even your star running back. He just wants to get out there and hit. He LOVES tackle." (Insert the usual eye roll from the coach or the polite smile that leaves you feeling insulted because you know it was forced!) And then I get defensive and disgruntled with the league. But we come back day after day because my kid is unstoppable. He doesn't care what they think. He gives the game his heart and soul.
About four days into it multiple people come up to me in and compliment my son's drive and his aggressive force that doesn't match his size. And then I sigh and I can breathe again because Inknow he isn't going to be overlooked anymore.
This year is no different for him... He doesn't care, he gets out there and does his thing. He is confident and persistent. But it is different for me... I held off on my sideline speeches until I was approached to "Z" him down to a younger group more his size. (This was day 1 of pre-season practices) I gave my speech once and I let it go. I politely declined the suggestion to move him to the younger team. They doubted him... But I didn't. This year I didn't let my faith waiver. I knew he had it in him to show everyone he could handle his own. And he went above and beyond anyone's expectations.
I sat on the sidelines and observed but didn't try to persuade anyone into believing in him. I didn't try to fight this battle for him. I set boundaries letting him find his own way.
And here I sit in the car setting a new boundary. A BIG boundary.... In all the years of flag football, baseball and tackle football I have never left him alone on the field. Not for practice and not for a game. Not in the skin melting heat, the bone chilling snow, wind, and rain. Tonight I parked the car, helped him with his pads and sent him to the field. I stayed behind. I am sure it is much harder on me sitting here worrying and wondering about my baby than it is for him to be practicing without me on the sideline. But the reality is we need this. He needs to know that Indont have to be right there to be here for him. I need this. I have to learn to loosen my Momma Bear grip and let him grow up. I have to be able to drop him off and drive away and know that we are both going to be fine. Seems like a natural progression of parenthood. And I am sure it is. But when Momma Bear has separation anxiety it complicates things a tad bit....
We all live with boundaries and even the ones we don't like they are there for a reason. This year of football is huge for me. I am not ready to let go of my baby. I am not ready for him to become an adolescent. Sadly, enough these things won't happen on my time line. And I need to learn to respect the boundaries of Momma Bear's baby cub growing up....
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